Rewards vs. Treats

In our house, hair brushing has been a nasty task. Our daughter hates it when I get closer than 5 feet from her, if I’m holding a hairbrush. I often catch myself telling her I’ll give her a “treat” if she lets me brush her hair. By “treat” I mean a few M&M candies or a piece of that Easter Candy that never seems to go away.

Lately I have been trying to steer away from giving her treats, but rewards instead. She doesn’t get to choose if she wants her hair brushed because that’s just part of being a girl. But if she sits still I try to reward her with something other than candy. It may seem silly because she is so young, but I don’t want her to get into the habit that I am in of rewarding myself with food. In my opinion, “treats” should be given out just because and not as a reward for doing something. I am not perfect at this yet, but I am trying harder to change this habit I have created.

So here are some ideas of things we can reward our children with that do not contain sugar.

• Read them their favorite story
• Give them a sticker-I think all kids love stickers. And they last longer than candy.
• Praise them with words or give them a hug.
• Let them help with a project they are doing.
• Give them a few extra minutes of outside time.
• Let them stay up a bit longer before a nap.
• Let them invite a friend over.
• Plan a special outing.
• Create a sticker chart for them. If appropriate let them work toward a greater reward.

Remember that rewards should be age appropriate and toddlers need immediate gratification most of the time. Otherwise they will not recognize that they are being rewarded. And also, try to keep in mind that children do not need to be given a tangible reward for everything they do. If you do this you may fall into a trap of them expecting things. But a kind “thank you” or “good job” is always appropriate.