Bringing Home A New Baby

Bringing home a new baby is a fun and exciting time to look forward to. Whether it’s your first child or your third, there will be some adjusting to the new infant. Not every family member will respond the same way, and that is important to remember. Don’t expect everyone to be elated and happy. Oftentimes other children will feel jealous, especially if this is your second child. From our experience, we’ve found the first child has the hardest time when the second arrives. Our’s had spent 2 1/2 years alone with us, not sharing his parents or anything else for that matter. In fact, we noticed his apprehension several weeks before our daughter was born. He definitely sensed what was going on and was not wanting his little dynamic in the home to change. When his sister finally arrived and came home, he was hesitant and told us to “put her back!” We also had a little picture displayed on one of our bookshelves of my oldest brother who died as an infant, and he would turn the picture facing backwards. He assumed the baby in the picture was his sister and didn’t want to even look at a picture of her!

By the time we had our third, that same first child was the most excited. By then he was used to having a sibling, and way excited to have a brother. Our daughter didn’t have any problems at all. I feel that was due to the fact that she has only known life with sharing her parents. Here’s a few tips to help you adjust to an addition to your family.

• Prepare everyone ahead of time. Take some extra time to talk to your children about having a new sibling. Get them excited by making a welcome home poster or some cards for the baby. Talk to them about how special it will be to be the big brother or sister and what a cool responsibility that can be.
• Have your new baby give their older siblings a gift. Our daughter gave our son a book and some chocolate milk. He was so excited that she gave him something. It is a simple gesture of friendship to start off their relationship together. You’ll be amazed at how much this helps.
• When one parent is with the baby, the other should be playing with the other children. If you are both home, forget the laundry, and focus on the kids. This helps the older children not feel like they are getting slided because of the baby. They will have a tendency to resent the baby if the baby takes away parent time they feel they should have had. Chores do need to be done, but the kids should come first. You can find time to catch up on the laundry later.
• Don’t get upset with an older child if they are not warming up to the baby right away. Like I said before, every child is different and will learn to love their sibling in a time that’s good for them. Don’t force it. Encourage them to give hugs and kisses, and tell them how much the baby loves them, and then let the rest happen when they are ready. This is a fantastic time to talk to them about what their emotions are. Help them to talk through how they are feeling, and do what they need you to do to ease them into their new role as a sibling.

Just remember that this can still be a fun and enjoyable time, even with a few wrinkles along the way. One day you’ll laugh at the memories of how everyone responds. We joke with our son about how he wanted to put his sister back and he thinks it’s funny. Good luck with your new little one!