Raising A Family

I came across a very interesting article on MSNBC that really made me stop and think. The subject matter is basically 5 tactics to use when raising kids that really seem to work. I think they work best because they’re pretty straight forward. There’s no frills and tricks involved. They’re also very practical. I’ll highlight the article but it’s really worth the read.

1. Don’t Major the Minors: Basically let the small stuff go or as I like to remind myself, we need to pick our battles. Set a list of priorities that you are going to stand firm on and let the other stuff go every once and a while. Like the article mentions there’s never been a child that has had serious harm by going one night without brushing their teeth or taking a bath. As long as you are standing firm with the rules that you fell strongly about everything else will turn out ok.
2. Assume your Home is Wired with a Nanny Cam: Sometimes it’s easy to let the politeness slide with our kids, especially when we know that nobody else is watching. If we run our household as though somebody is watching we will tend to be more polite to everyone and deal with situations differently. If you have a hard time with this concept actually set up a video camera for one night and go about your business with the family. At your convenience watch the tape and take notes on what you might improve on.
3. Put Guilt in it’s Place-Generally in the Trash Can!: Although guilt is a great motivator at times, we need to watch how often we use it. Try to only use guilt if it’s being used for a teachable moment. As difficult as it may be as a parent our kids need to hear the word “no” at times and there’s no way of getting around it.
4. If it Didn’t Work Before, Try Something New: There are all kinds of books and suggestions on how to discipline kids. Every kid is different which means that not every solution is going to work for every kid. You need to choose a technique that works best for your family or better yet your child. I have first hand knowledge of this. Our oldest son is extremely social so a time out is torture for him. He will do all he can to avoid this. Our second son on the other hand enjoys being by himself and would sit in a time out for an hour. This son is also pretty sensitive so usually having a good talk with him does the trick. Remember that just because your mom handled things one way while you were growing up, that it will work for you. Also what worked before might get old and need to be adjusted.
5. Focus on Teaching Compassion and Gratitude as Though you Would Teach Math and Reading: We often strive to make sure our children can read and are up to the standards in Math, but sometimes we forget that things like compassion and gratitude need to be taught to our kids as well. Yes, every so often and angel child will be born and these things will come more naturally to them, but that’s not the norm. Have plenty of discussions with your children and teach them the difference between right and wrong. Remind them how if feels when they are not treated fairly so they will not want to treat others that way. Have your kids help with meaningful service so they can learn to appreciate what they have. This also helps keep them from wanting more and more all the time.

By putting these tactics into play you will be on your way to having a more positive parenting experience. I know that not every day is perfect, but there is always a new day to start fresh.